Traditions are part of what makes the Hash an honourable entity. Staunchly supported, the traditions are marvelously crafted to make you look as stupid as possible.
The run is set some time before by the hares who are undoubtedly held responsible. Usually the run starts just before sunset and should finish at sunset. The run is usually about 45mins long and everybody complains, no matter what the hares do.
The run itself consists of a main trail marked by fluorescent orange painted straws, chalk or other objects. From checkpoints, there are run trails that can be found, some are false, some are not.
Another objective of the run is to let the slow bast”@#d’s catch up. ON IN signals the last leg. There may be a Hash Horn around somewhere and when you hear it, its meant to indicate the direction of the run. Short-cutting is an offence and “Down Downs” are in order for anything.
More on this at some other time. Here are some pics:
Typical run marker
Typical arros (sometime in chalk)
Hash Horn (sometimes makes an appearance)
Checkpoint Marker
The Hash Shit is a beautifully crafted, very expensive, very exclusive, very endearing plastic toilet seat that you wear for being an asshole, wanker or just plain dumb. The following week you give it to some other asshole, wanker or dumb runt.
Chilly Willy shows us how its done.
You’ll notice that Chilly, bless his arsehole, is smarting a bit from the smell of shit as SeaCock actually used it the week before. His own toilet seat broke at home. A useful spare to have around every now and again!
There are basically two songs, one sung at down downs and the other at the finale:
Down Down Song
Here’s to them c”#ts they are blue
They are bas%”#ds through and through
They are bas%”#ds so they say
They’ll never go to heaven in a long long way
Drink it Down Down Dow……………………N
Why were they born so beautiful
why were they born at all
They’re no f&*ing use to anyone they’re no f#%ing use at all
ON ON
The Minefields
From the inefields of Fujeirah
To the sand dunes of Dubai
There’s a buzz going round the Emirates that the Creek are up on high
All the other hashes you can keep, so boring they’re a farce
It’s the Creek Creek Creek is the one we seek shove the rest right up your arse
ON ON
There’s also a traditional Christmas song:
The Twelve Days Of Christmas By Gladys, Webshite and AhPisto
On the first day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
A really really crappy GM
On the second day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
On the third day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Three Spinneys bags
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
On the fourth day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Four specky warts
Three Spinneys bags
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
On the fifth day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Five Desert Douche Bags (spit)
Four specky warts
Three Spinneys bags
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
On the sixth day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Six spent spit roasters
Five Desert Douche Bags (spit)
Four specky warts
Three Spinneys bags
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
On the seventh day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Seven Silicon checkpoints
Six spent spit roasters
Five Desert Douche Bags (spit)
Four specky warts
Three Spinneys bags
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
On the eighth day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Eight loads of wood
Seven Silicon checkpoints
Six spent spit roasters
Five Desert Douche Bags (spit)
Four specky warts
Three Spinneys bags
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
On the ninth day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Nine Steiney down downs
Eight loads of wood
Seven Silicon checkpoints
Six spent spit roasters
Five Desert Douche Bags (spit)
Four specky warts
Three Spinneys bags
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
On the tenth day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Ten name suggestions
Nine Steiney down downs
Eight loads of wood
Seven Silicon checkpoints
Six spent spit roasters
Five Desert Douche Bags (spit)
Four specky warts
Three Spinneys bags
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
On the eleventh day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Eleven shite one liners
Ten name suggestions
Nine Steiney down downs
Eight loads of wood
Seven Silicon checkpoints
Six spent spit roasters
Five Desert Douche Bags (spit)
Four specky warts
Three Spinneys bags
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
On the twelth day of Christmas
The Creek Hash sent to me
Twelve Orrsum butties
Eleven shite one liners
Ten name suggestions
Nine Steiney down downs
Eight loads of wood
Seven Silicon checkpoints
Six spent spit roasters
Five Desert Douche Bags (spit)
Four specky warts
Three Spinneys bags
Two helmet hats
And a really really crappy GM
The helmet is the highlight of the evening. Some times people drop dead, get revived, have heart attacks or need to go for testicular surgery as their gonads shrink so far up that you need pliers to get them back down again.
The helmet is delivered for the most heinous crimes of the week, often involving other hashers. The helmet can be a two or three person disaster. It’s usually given for anything. Iced water is the theme and lots of it is what’s its all about.
History of the Helmet…
Back in 1985 a run was set near to the new Etisialat building by the defense roundabout. The Hares on this run were TubeullarBalls and a young novice hasher called C#%Sucker.
During the circle, an argument started as the most senior Hasher at the time, Pontif, thought the run was a pile of shite and was calling for the Hares to be Helmeted, with what was at the time a Mono Helmet. In their defense the Hares claimed that they should not be Helmeted as however shite the run, they had done their bit for the Hash and everyone who thought otherwise could fuck off.
In those days the Creek Hash was a lot smaller with about 15 to 20 regular runners. Though the pack was split it was decided that the Hares should never get the Helmet, as they were right in pointing out, they had at least got off their arses and put in the effort, however misguided.
Unfortunately as is the case when tempers flare and alcohol is involved it went a bit further and Sucker and Pontif engaged in fisticuffs.
The following Tuesday MuffDiver arrived on the Hash and announced that such actions were not in the true spirit of Creek Hashing and that a cooling off period was called for. At this point he introduced the Double Helmet, the purpose of which was to put the two offending parties next to each other and give them a good soaking.
The hash prick is given out by the Hares who set the run that week. Its a copious drinking vessel. Basically you and who ever get hauled into the circle have to gobble down about a litre of lovely Bavarian beverage.
The examples shown below give you the idea:
Funneling is an art in itself. You find someone you don’t like, or someone who’s gobbing off at everybody and anybody or someone who’s not singing, haul them in the circle, get them on their knees and pour what every you like down the funnel. Other people can add to this fun by pouring their own down downs into the funnel. The funnel master, who gets funneled straight away, is chosen by the RA.
Watch out for blowbacks. Note the special equipment used by the funnel master:
